originally posted at Star Wars .com blogs, 12/18/07

Han Solo & Leia Organa sing "Baby, It's Cold Outside!"


Leia: I really can't stay ...
(Han: but baby its cold outside)
Leia: The first transport is away ...
(Han: but baby its cold outside)
Leia: This escape has been...
(Han: Been hoping that you'd drop in)
Leia: ...so not very nice!
(Han: I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice)

Leia: General Rieekan will start to worry
(Han: Your Highness, what's your hurry?)
Leia: Snowtroopers breaking down the door...
(Han: Listen to the blasters roar!)
Leia: ...so really I'd better scurry...
(Han: Goldenrod better hurry)
Leia: ...but maybe just one transport more
(Han: open the shields, I'll open the door)

Leia: The hallways collapsed!
(Han: Baby its bad out there!)
Leia: No way to get back!
(Han: No ship to be had out there!)
Leia: I wish I knew how...
(Han: Your eyes are like starlight now)
Leia: ...to get off this rock!
(Han: On the Falcon I'll take you out)

Leia: I ought to scream bloody murder...
(Han: Mind if I move in closer?)
Leia: ...call you a Scruffy Nerf Herder
(Han: Hey, who you callin' scruffy?))
Leia: We really can't stay ...
(Han: I'm sure I can get the Falcon to start!)
Both: But baby its cold outside!

Leia: We simply must go!
(Han: But baby there's Imps outside!)
Leia: The answer is no !
(Han: Asteroids and ships outside!)
Leia: Your flying has been ...
(Han: The hyperdrive won't kick in!)
Leia: ...so very insane!
(Han: Look out the window at that big rock!)

Leia: Cant this bucket go any faster?
(Han: I'm doing best I can, sister!)
Leia: The Empire is close at the door!
(Han: We'll fly into the asteroids more!)
Leia: Darth Vader's mind is vicious
(Han: Gosh you're just Worshipful-licious!)
Leia: We can't hide in here anymore!
(Han: Never such a weird cave before!)

Leia: I've gotta get home...
(Han: But baby there's Mynocks out there!)
Leia: Say is this ground foam?
(Han: Giant Slug teeth out there!)
Leia: We're drifting in a garbage trail...
(Han: I think Boba Fett's on our tail!)
Leia: ...so don't you see?
(Han: What say we fly to Cloud City?)

Leia: There's bound to be talk tomorrow...
(Han: Lando will have parts I can borrow!)
Leia: ...I don't trust that guy anyhow
(Han: I'm sure he's forgotten by now...)
Leia: I really can't stay ...
(Han: What's Carbonite anyway?)

Both: But baby its cold...baby it's cold outside!

originally posted at Star Wars .com blogs, 12/17/07

"The Empire Got Defeated By Some Ewoks"

(sung to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer)

(chorus)
The Empire got defeated by some Ewoks
Fighting back like vicious teddy bears
You may think they're really cute and cuddly
But they will cook and eat you, so beware!

Luke decided to face Vader
And Leia begged him not to go,
Be he sensed some good still in him
So off to the new Death Star he did go.

Meanwhile deep within the forest
Stormtroopers tried to take them out
But the Ewoks were ferocious
And sent chills of fear with their little Ewok shouts!

(chorus)
The Empire got defeated by some Ewoks
Fighting back like vicious teddy bears
You may think they're really cute and cuddly
But they will cook and eat you, so beware!

Now we're all so proud of Vader
When he converted back to Light
But we all know it's the Ewoks
Who really saved the day and won the fight!

Now the bloody battle's over
And the Empire will fall
And we just cant help but wonder
Did they cook the Troopers up, or eat them raw?

(chorus)
The Empire got defeated by some Ewoks
Fighting back like vicious teddy bears
You may think they're really cute and cuddly
But they will cook and eat you, so beware!

Stormtrooper steaks are on the table
And some Biker Scout fillet
And if a Rebel too is on the menu
Well we all know, that's just their way.

I've warned all the other planets
Better watch out for yourselves
For a horde of vicious killers
That look like cute and fluffy little elves!

(chorus)
The Empire got defeated by some Ewoks
Fighting back like vicious teddy bears
You may think they're really cute and cuddly
But they will cook and eat you, so beware!

(sing it, Palpatine!)
The Empire got defeated by some Ewoks
Fighting back like vicious teddy bears
You may think they're really cute and cuddly
But they will cook and eat you, so beware!

Happy Life Day!

originally posted at Star Wars .com blogs, 4/20/07

"Oh Obi Wan" (sung to the tune of The Crystals classic "Da Doo Run Run")


I met him in the Judlands in the desert sun
Oh, Obi Wan, oh, oh Obi Wan!
He saved me from the Tuskens when he made them run!
Oh Obi Wan oh, oh Obi Wan!

Hel-lo little friend!
Said his name was Ben.
But a name he hadn't heard
In so, so long, long, was Obi Wan!

He took me back to his place, it was just a shack
Oh Obi Wan, poor old Obi Wan
We found the secret message and he played it back
Oh Obi Wan oh, oh Obi Wan!

Rebels on the ropes!
You're our only hope!
Please, come to Alderaan!
Oh Obi Wan, General Obi Wan!

He snuck into the Death Star, shut the tractor down
Oh Obi Wan, sneaky Obi Wan!
Then his old apprentice went and cut him down
Oh, Obi Wan, oh no Obi Wan!

Turned and fired my gun!
Heard his voice say "RUN!"
Blasted off and got away,
'cept Obi Wan, poor ol' Obi Wan!

Hopped into our X-wings and we started to fly
Oh Obi Wan, I miss Obi Wan!
Trying to hit a target just three meters wide
Oh, Obi Wan, help me Obi Wan!

Just once chance of course,
Ben said "Use The Force!"
Blew that thing and we went home!
Oh, Obi Wan, thank you Obi Wan!
Oh, Obi Wan oh, oh Obi Wan!
Oh Obi Wan oh, oh Obi Wan...

{repeat and fade out...}

originally posted at Star Wars .com blogs, 4/6/07

If I Had A Wookiee (sung to the Peter, Paul & Mary tune "If I Had A Hammer")

If I had a Wookiee
We'd smuggle in the morning
We'd smuggle in the evening ... or my name ain't Han!,
We'd smuggle in spices
We'd smuggle out weapons
We'd smuggle for profit, greed, excitement and adventure
All over this galaxy!

If I had a Wookiee
he'd guard me in the morning
He'd guard me in the evening...or my name ain't Han!
He'd guard me from danger
From morons like Greedo
he'd guard me from bounty hunters, hired by Jabba
All over this galaxy!

If I had a Wookiee
I'd make him co-pilot
I'd make him my first mate ... or my name ain't Han!
We'd fly into danger
We'd fly into battle
We'd fly so fast, we'd break the Kessel Run record
All over this galaxy!

Well I've got a Wookiee
And his name is Chewie
And he is my best friend ... or my name ain't Han!,
And I made him a smuggler
And he is my strong arm
But most of all, I love him like a brother
All over this galaxy!

originally posted at Star Wars.com blogs, 3/28/07

We Are The Fan Force (sung to the tune the Queen song "We Are The Champions")

(Note:, "Fan Force" is the sorta semi "official SW Nickname" some of have adopted, at least until somebody comes up with something better LOL)


I've watched all six films
Time after time
I've done conventions
And stood in long lines
And lots of toys
I've bought quite a few
I've had my share of scalpers ripping me off
But I've come through

We are the Fan Force - my friends
And we'll keep collecting - till the end
We are the Fan Force
We are the Fan Force
No time for Trekkies
'Cause we are the Fan Force - of Star Wars!

George Lucas has vowed
that six films is all
We brought him fame and fortune
and everything that goes with it
still we want more!

So some of us play games
Some read EU
I consider it a challenge to keep up with it all
And I ain't gonna lose

{We want 7, 8 and 9! And }
We are the Fan Force - my friends
Still live with our parents, but pay rent!
We are the Fan Force
We are the Fan Force
Some call us losers
'But we are the Fan Force - of Star Wars!

We are the Fan Force - my friends
And we'll keep on dueling - it's pretend!
We are the Fan Force
We are the Fan Force
No time for girlfriends
'Cause we are the Fan Force...

Originally posted at Star Wars.com Blogs, 2/06/07

"Oola" (sung to the tune of The Kinks song "Lola")


I bought her for my palace near the Great Dune Sea
where I eat live frogs and they taste just like crunchy chicken;
like KFC chicken!

I pulled on her chain and I told her to dance,
I asked her her name and in a dark green voice she said, "Oola"
O-O-L-A Oola,
Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola!

Well, I'm not the world's most physical Hutt,
but when she danced for me it made me move my butt
Oh my Oola, Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola,

Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand
How she dances so good to the Max Rebo Band
Oh my Oola, Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola,
Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola

Well, we drank Corellian Ale and danced all night,
under the Palace firelight,
I picked her up and sat her next to me,
I said, "Little Twi'lek won't you make out with me?"

Well, I'm not the world's most cleanliest Hutt
And when she smelled my breath
well she almost threw up, Oh my Oola,
Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola,
Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola!

She pushed me away!
I hit the trap door!
It opened the floor.!
She fell down with a scream!
And the Rancor ate her, and that pleased me!

Well the gangs all say I always get my way.
But now there's this Jedi that just won't go away, Bib Fortuna
why'd you let him in,a?

Luke killed my Rancor and Solo got freed
Tried to feed them to the Sarlaac 'cause I really got peeved
And made Slave Leia...Le Le Le Le Leia.
Le Le Le Le Leia!

Well I brought them out to settle the score,
But I never ever fought a woman before,
Leia snarled, chain around my head
she said, "Slimy Hutt, gonna choke 'til your dead!"

Well I'm the galaxies top crime lord it's said,
but I should have bargained, now I've wound up dead,
along with Oola...Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola...Oo Oo Oo Oola!

Oola!...Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola...! Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola...!