Originally posted at Star Wars.com Blogs, 2/06/07

"Oola" (sung to the tune of The Kinks song "Lola")


I bought her for my palace near the Great Dune Sea
where I eat live frogs and they taste just like crunchy chicken;
like KFC chicken!

I pulled on her chain and I told her to dance,
I asked her her name and in a dark green voice she said, "Oola"
O-O-L-A Oola,
Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola!

Well, I'm not the world's most physical Hutt,
but when she danced for me it made me move my butt
Oh my Oola, Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola,

Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand
How she dances so good to the Max Rebo Band
Oh my Oola, Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola,
Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola

Well, we drank Corellian Ale and danced all night,
under the Palace firelight,
I picked her up and sat her next to me,
I said, "Little Twi'lek won't you make out with me?"

Well, I'm not the world's most cleanliest Hutt
And when she smelled my breath
well she almost threw up, Oh my Oola,
Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola,
Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola!

She pushed me away!
I hit the trap door!
It opened the floor.!
She fell down with a scream!
And the Rancor ate her, and that pleased me!

Well the gangs all say I always get my way.
But now there's this Jedi that just won't go away, Bib Fortuna
why'd you let him in,a?

Luke killed my Rancor and Solo got freed
Tried to feed them to the Sarlaac 'cause I really got peeved
And made Slave Leia...Le Le Le Le Leia.
Le Le Le Le Leia!

Well I brought them out to settle the score,
But I never ever fought a woman before,
Leia snarled, chain around my head
she said, "Slimy Hutt, gonna choke 'til your dead!"

Well I'm the galaxies top crime lord it's said,
but I should have bargained, now I've wound up dead,
along with Oola...Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola...Oo Oo Oo Oola!

Oola!...Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola...! Oo Oo Oo Oo Oola...!